The Only Emperor is the Emperor of Ice Cream
by TallestLavender
Summary: The only Emperor is the Emperor of Ice Cream. And that's Ansem! Read about the escapades of Mickey and Sora as they try to get Ansem the Wise to reveal his identity. Unfortunately, Ansem is deprived of his Sea Salt ice cream in the process!
1. Escapade 1: The Bet!

Escapade 1: The Bet!

One day, King Mickey casually went over to his good friend Ansem's house. He knocked politely (as he always did), and when King Ansem the Wise opened the door, he invited his buddy inside for some tea and to chat. Mickey cordially asked, "How's it goin', Ansem?"

Ansem replied, "Oh, it's good. It's always good here, especially without that annoyance Xehanort. Ugh, I just hate him."

He sipped his tea royally, as royal people tend to do. Mickey bluntly asked, "So, uh, are you the Emperor of Ice Cream?"

Ansem panicked, as anyone would do when asked about something like that. "OH, would you look at the time? I bet you need to be doing other things. I must go and organize my library again. It seems that a Heartless snuck in and moved things around."

Confused, Mickey responded, "Wasn't that months ago? I saw you fix it then. . ."

Ansem, who was still panicking, began scooting his friend toward the door, saying, "Oh, uh, er, it happened again. Yeah."

In a slightly sarcastic reply, Mickey merely said, "Uh huh."

Ansem finally managed to push his tiny friend outside and said, "Well, you'd better be going. I'm sure you have more things to do than trifle your valuable time with an old friend."

Mickey smiled as if Ansem were trying to play a joke. "Oh, I have plenty of-"

Before the smaller of the two kings could complete his sentence, the larger closed the door right in the mouse's face. "-time."

Sora, who had been waiting for Mickey, said, "Well?"

The mouse king smirked and replied, "Yeah. I knew it. He's so the Emperor of Ice Cream."

Sora raised his eyebrows slightly and passed King Mickey five dollars. "This bet never happened. . ."

A few minutes later, as the friends walked along, Sora asked, "So, uh, whatcha' gonna' do with those five dollars, King?"

Mickey smiled and answered, "Oh, I was thinkin' 'bout goin' to the store. Wanna' come?"

Sora said sure, and they both headed to the store.

Mickey stopped in the frozen food section, thinking hard. "Hmm. . ." He opened up the glass doors and pulled out a case. "Perfect!"

As they walked toward the check-out lane, Sora said, "Sea-Salt Ice Cream? You wouldn't. . ."

Mickey smiled evilly, "Oh, I would."

He paid for the ice cream, and they went back to Ansem's house. When his friend answered the door, King Mickey said, "Howdy, Ansem."

Ansem, wondering what Mickey was up to, replied, "I thought you had to go. . . ?"

"Oh, no, I just went and bought some ice cream. Do you want any?"

The larger king looked around nervously. "Er, nothanksmaybenexttimebye!!" He slammed the door closed.

After closing the door on his dear friends, Ansem the Wise retreated to his study. He drew a pathetic sketch of his beloved ice cream. He looked sadly upon his creation, sniffed deeply, and cried, for he could not have his delicious frozen treat today. Fear not, Ansem, perhaps another day. Perhaps another day.


	2. Escapade 2: Grocery Shopping

Escapade 2: Grocery Shopping

As every King with a double life as an Emperor must, Ansem went grocery shopping. He picked up normal things, like corn, bread, cookies. . . But then, he stopped. Ansem the Wise, a.k.a. the Emperor of Ice Cream, had arrived in the frozen food section. He tried to stop himself, but alas, resistance was futile. Nothing could keep him from his ice cream now! NOTHING!! He smiled to himself and pushed his cart until he was directly in front of the ice cream. "Whatcha' doin', Ansem?" a voice asked.

Ansem whipped around. Ah! It was Mickey, his dear old friend. "Just doing some grocery shopping," he replied as cheerfully as he could muster, hoping that Mickey would give him some peace so he could buy some Sea-Salt Ice Cream.

He was itching to tell the mouse to leave him alone, but he knew he couldn't. He would have to wait until Mickey got bored. Too bad for him that Mickey didn't get bored too easily. "So what're you plannin' on gettin' from the frozen food section?"

"Er, I got this," Ansem answered as he held up a frozen pizza. "I just wanted to see if there was anything else I wanted to get from this aisle."

"Like. . . ice cream?"

Oh, dear. Mickey was at it again. Ansem felt as if the tiny king would never quit badgering him to find out if he was the Emperor of Ice Cream or not. Well, ha! Ansem would never reveal his secret to Mickey! He was the Emperor of Ice Cream, and he didn't want anyone to try and take his place. It was his job! It was his job, I tell you! "Oh, no, it doesn't seem that there's anything else of interest in this aisle. Farewell, my friend."

Perhaps Mickey would be gone by the time Ansem returned to the frozen food section. Ansem came back about ten minutes later, and the small king was still loitering around there. Ansem sighed and went to pay for his groceries.

He returned home and sat down in his favorite chair. You know, the cushy one by the fire. He closed his eyes and sighed. Yet another day had gone by without his heavenly frozen treat. Fear not, Ansem, perhaps another day. Perhaps another day.


	3. Escapade 3: Disco Inferno

Escapade 3: Disco Inferno

It was Friday night, which is ALWAYS Dancing Night at Ansem's mansion. All of his good friends are invited to come. That means that King Mickey, Sora, Donald, and Goofy came (in that exact order). As always, Yensid declined the gracious invitation. Dancing Night included Dance Dance Revolution (as well as the occasional imitation), Twister Dance, and just boogie-ing to their favorite songs.

"Burn, baby, burn!" Ansem sang, dancing to one of his favorite DDR songs.

"Wow, he's pretty good for an old man," Sora observed.

Ansem refused to hear this comment and continued cutting the rug.

As is expected, Donald did horribly and threw a fit. Goofy had problems even making it onto the DDR pad, so he passed on his turn.

Things went normally, as normal could possibly be in their case. Well, they went normally until break time.

"Phew! That sure was exhausting, wasn't it, Ansem?" Mickey asked cordially.

"Oh, yes, it was, my friend. If only there was a refreshing way to cool down," Ansem commented.

"How about some Sea-Salt Ice Cream?" asked the tiny king.

"Uh, we don't . . . have . . . any of that . . . here," the larger, now flustered king answered. "How about some, uh, lemonade? Yeah, lemonade will cool us down!"

Ansem ran into the kitchen and began pouring glasses of lemonade for all. He sighed. Why would Mickey not let it go? He didn't want to share his ice cream! Mickey just wanted to take it from him! Yeesss, that was it. Well, Ansem refused to take any of that from the mouse.

He returned with everyone's glasses of lemonade. After they had all quenched their thirst, they were ready to continue dancing their little hearts out. They were so excited about it that Ansem couldn't bring himself to kick them out just yet.

His friends stayed there late into the night. When they all had finally left, it was much too late to attempt to go to the grocery store again.

Ansem was now thoroughly depressed. He didn't know how much longer he could go without eating his beloved frozen treat. He popped in a blues CD, leaned against the wall, and bemoaned the fact that he was unable to access Sea-Salt Ice Cream for the time being. Fear not, Ansem, perhaps another day. Perhaps another day.


	4. Escapade 4: Candyopolis

Escapade 4: Candyopolis

"Candyopolis?" Ansem repeated.

"Yep! It's a total rip-off of Candyland, but it's way more fun!" answered Sora happily.

"If you say so. . . ," the king replied.

Mickey smiled. It had been his idea to bring the game over. He hoped that the mention of candy might be enough to spark a discussion about ice cream. King Mickey had made it his mission to expose Ansem as the Emperor of Ice Cream, and he wanted to do everything he could to get the larger king to admit it. Ansem wasn't too great at dealing with pressure, so Mickey figured he could get him to fold eventually. Speaking of folding, poker seemed like a good idea. It would be easy to use betting as leverage.

The tiny king went over to the sound system and put in his favorite CD. Donald rolled his eyes. "Not this one again. . ."

Ansem took the CD out and put in a different one with some of his favorite DDR mixes. "There."

Sora sighed. It was always like this with them. Everything seemed to be a competition. He didn't really mind. Sora thought it was kind of fun to watch, as well as participate in, all of the antics. He had never seen this side of Mickey. Why was he so determined? It was funny, regardless. Goofy had told Sora that he felt the same way.

Mickey told Ansem to go first, so the larger of the two picked up a card. He moved to the yellow square with purple polka-dots. It was the second square. Looked like he was going nowhere fast.

Sora was the next, clockwise, and he picked up the next card, which said to go to the zebra-striped square, which was by the cloud bridge, which he could use on his next turn to go to the next landmark of the game. Ansem fumed.

Goofy's turn took him to the licorice drawbridge; it happened to be at the half-way point of the board. Donald growled angrily and picked up his card. He went all of three spaces to the swirly green and orange square.

The rest of the game went a lot like the first turns. There was a lot of being sent back many spaces, due to various causes, and eventually, Ansem made it to the second-to-last space before the finish. It was split down the middle with blue and red.

Mickey suddenly spoke up, "Hey, Ansem. I bet you'll get the next space or one that will send you back, instead of the one that allows you to get to the finish."

Ansem looked up at his old friend sourly and narrowed his eyes. "What would you like to bet?" he growled.

"You have to tell us something you wouldn't expect us to know. Okay?" Mickey smiled, as if nothing was afoot. "If you do make it to the finish, I'll never bring that CD of mine back here."

Goofy wondered to himself about why Mickey would suggest two completely unrelated things.

Ansem rolled his eyes and picked up the next card. It sent him back to the Peanut Butter Valley--all the way back to ten spaces from the start. He groaned and plopped his face into his hands. "Why me?"

Mickey smiled. "Okay, tell us something interesting, King Ansem."

The larger (and older) of the two looked up at the ceiling to see if he could come up with something that had nothing to do with ice cream. He couldn't. Then he did!

"I collect baseball cards. I've been collecting them since I was seven-years-old," he said proudly.

"Um, wow, that's . . . something else, buddy. Pretty cool," Mickey stammered. He quickly recovered. "Wow, look at how late it is! I was planning on going out to get some ice cream, but I don't think any stores are open at this time of night. That's just too bad, huh?"

"Yeah, itsureis! Looks like you'd better get going so you can get some sleep!" Ansem quickly insisted as he gently pushed his friends to the door.

"What's the big idea??" Donald shouted, but the door shut behind him immediately after, so Ansem didn't have to muster an answer.

He looked at his heirloom grandfather clock and realized that the smaller king was correct. There was no way he could go out and get some Sea-Salt ice cream at this late of an hour. He sighed and sat down in front of the fireplace, enjoying the warmth. He didn't know how much longer he could go without his favorite snack food. He sniffled a little and closed his eyes, wondering when he could eat ice cream without Mickey knowing. Fear not, Ansem, perhaps another day. Perhaps another day. 


End file.
